Thanks, Michael Eric Dyson...Thanks

I AM
 all rights reserved, Derrick Watkins
www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

*In response to Michael Eric Dyson's commentary on same-sex marriage on MSNBC's The Ed Show

Brother Dyson:

Today, I awoke to find a video clip of you on my cousin's Facebook page. Beneath the link and thumbnail, my cousin wrote, "Good segment."  Now, normally, I would have refrained from viewing and certainly from responding to a video entitled, "Michael Eric Dyson on President Obama's stand on same-sex marriage," for several reasons:

• People, despite their level of education, don't seem to be able to separate constitutional rights from religious perspective.
• I spent many, many years well-immersed in the underworld of religiosity, hitting dance clubs and private functions with pastors, being privy to knowledge of homosexual relationships among married men of the cloth, and watching friends preach angrily against homosexuality right before engaging gay activity. 
• And, last, but certainly not least, because I was molested at the hands of a trustee of Bethel AME Church in Baltimore for many years.

I Got You
all rights reserved, Derrick Watkins
www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

I am a father now. As well, I worked in education and youth development for more than 20 years. My inability back then to find deep value in who and what I was made me live in the putrid bowels of guilt and shame, which more often than not, invites emotionally, spiritually and physically unhealthy behavior.


My self hate manifested as intentional separation from my family, hoping to avoid bringing shame and embarrassment upon them; difficulty building authentic relationships, platonic and intimate, and at some points stints of self-hate and all that comes with such.

Like many others, I found myself hopping from church to church, trying to connect with God and Jesus through preachers who, frankly, hated who and what I was. It didn't matter how much money I put in the offering plate, how committed I was to the church, and oddly enough, it didn't matter what "The Word" said. There was no hope for a black, same gender-loving man.

It's ironic that you mentioned Jamal Bryant. I grew up in his dad's church! I remember being so happy to hear of his successes, and when people spoke ill of him (and they did), I had his back. One of my comrades was "doing it!"  Well, about seven years ago, I visited The Empowerment Temple hoping to give my old pal a thumbs-up from the “audience”. In fact, I had taken my four-year-old son (who’s eleven now) with me. During the sermon, I whispered to my son, "That's Daddy's and Auntie's friend!"

Within minutes of his entrée to an army of cheers and praise, he began speaking like a pro. I was proud of him! For, you see, I knew him when he was a silly little boy cracking jokes in church. As he began speaking in that familiar intellectual, yet southern cadence reminiscent of his amazing father and his dynamic mother, I stuck my chest way out thinking, "There is hope." In fact, I felt empowered that someone who (metaphorically) knew my story was about to speak.

Well, you can imagine how I felt when his sermon started off explaining how Empowerment Temple didn't attract "punks," but it did attract lesbians, because they sought out strong male leaders. Huh? Of course, the church went in like each member had hit the lottery! Personally, I was blown and shocked. So, now, I have to un-teach my kid a lesson that I would have never expected him to get in church. It was very uncomfortable for me and seemingly kind of self-righteous and anti-doctrine of Jamal.

God's Dance
all rights reserved, Derrick Watkins
www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

And as I looked around the church, I thought, "Wait a damn minute. Is he blind?" Certainly there were gay men and women in the church body, and seemingly on the stage as well.

I began to toss around the definition of "punk".
I wondered if "punk" included men who cheated on their wives or had babies out of wedlock, a familiar reality among many Christian men, particularly in Jamal's church. I wondered if it included Jamal’s felonious childhood friends. I wondered what all of the gay kids or people with gay kids, siblings, parents and cousins must have felt at their pastor "taught". Did they now struggle with accepting their own blood? Or what about those parents, who like me, don't want to teach their children hate, what had gone through their minds when their spiritual leader shared his personal views. And while I know that the incidences listed above don't make any of these people lesser men of God, I wished the clergy understood the same. Beyond all of the people in our country who are not Christian, what of the people who merely want their constitutional rights preserved? Could we say, all men who steal can't go lose the right to be around money? Can we say every divorcee is no longer has rights to get married?

Today, Brother Dyson, I am a photographer and a writer. I use my gift to remind people that all life is beautiful, and that there can never be a separation between The Mighty Creator and any of us...that God is evenly dispersed among all people and that using hate and God in any sentence is ridiculous, as it personifies God with human emotion. With that said, I have to admit that I comfortably don't understand why so many black preachers are "where they are". I know that leaning to my own understanding would drive me nuts, and it simply isn't worth it. What a gift it is to understand that Jamal's steps, like mine, yours, and every other person's, are ordered by the God we so often attempt to humanize.

I wish the black church understood its role in suicide, molestation, poverty and the rise in HIV among black women and young people. While it is not the church's fault, condemning people of faith to hell for being exactly who they are, frankly, kills them. If people can't come to a place of worship without judgment, they try to find the same feeling in other places, often yielding dangerous results.

Brother Dyson, I thank God for your courage and wisdom. I thank God for your willingness to share an honest perspective that publicly validates humanity as equally worthy of God's love and acceptance.
I thank God for your transparency and your open-mindedness. I appreciate you and all of the work you do to broaden the perspective and perception of African-American people.