I Act Like This Because I Love You; Soliciting the Best from Ourselves and Our Loved Ones

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

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It is by no stretch of the imagination that I am so delusional as to believe that I am “better” than any other human being on earth, for believing so would contradict my fundamental belief that we are all made of or by God, or that we all make God; however one chooses to perceive it, if he or she believes similarly. 

And, believing that God has intentionally made us all with no respect of person to simply and perpetually express its likeness, quickens me with consciousness of the divine equity of our contributions toward humanity, bringing a stinging woe to the man or woman of such ignorance as to perceive himself, his thoughts, or his contributions as…well…

better…

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

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It is also not by any stretch of the imagination, that I, a proud, and sometimes ornery, unreasonable Black man of innovative thoughts and inspired artistic ability, have ever claimed my vision to be “the” vision of the Black man, neither of “the people”.  To do so would marginalize our vastness, and I simply do not wish to do that, but I assure each of you, beyond any shadow of even the remotest doubt, that I am 1 billion percent sure, as you should be, that my talents are God-given, and quite necessary toward raising the consciousness of human-kind about the impetuous beauty within this, the COLLECTIVE Black experience. 

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

all rights reserved

And, because, like yours, my skin has survived the gift of the kiss of the Sun, my vision, also like yours and any other Black-skinned human – gay or straight (or someplace along that spectrum), Religious or not, wealthy or struggling, troubled or strong-minded – is inextricably, and undeniably a critical part of the collective vision for Blacks in this land, which was once strange to us…

Including my son…

And his daughters, which will surely live one day…

And for their sons, whom will one day, proudly, call me “great grandfather”.

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

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So, on occasion, I may take great pleasure in wrestling against, Son of Baldwin, knit-picking his presumptions, negating his philosophies, and challenging his logic; but these things, not to disparage his incomparable contributions to our the world, but to sharpen his tool, as he sharpens mine with the same love, high-expectation and honor we both can muster.

And, on other occasion, when after Darin presents an amazing piece with nearly 100 Black and Brown faces singing and playing violas, the timpani, the bass, woodwinds and brass, I dare to tell him how fine the show was as vigorously as I dare to encourage him, “Give the people more of yourself, Beloved Brother,” this not to diminish his matchless preservation of our culture, but to ensure him that I know him, and that I, selfishly, want him to repeatedly give his “most best," that it may inspire those among us, not only to love and respect music, but all that they may be inspired to manifest themselves, repeatedly!

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

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And on occasion, when my dearest sisters Meredith and Carolyn, whom I love as much as the rise of The Son each morning, when they make profound statements about culture, God, and misogyny, I search for holes to slither into, wherein I shall fight tooth and nail to dissect their arguments; this not to show that I am smarter than they, but rather "because" they are two of the smartest persons I know; this also because I know my role in their lives as the iron to their iron.

And, oh, how I love, with every cell in my body, to have discussions with George Blake, The Great, who truly is the smartest person I know. How I love those rare occasions upon which I am righter than he, or whereby he must say, “Ah, you make a great point, dearest brother.” 

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

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I must admit that hearing those words from this genius brother of mine makes me dance like David. And perhaps it is the God within and around him, which inclines such behavior from me. None-the-less, we fight, not with insults nor with blame, but rather with exuberant expectation and fiery accountability. (I never go to him unless I want the unadulterated truth.)

And towards my sister, who knows me best; towards her I stand face to face, eye to eye, soul to soul, presenting myself as her transparent mirror of sorts,  saying, “Take my good, and let it be yours, but take my bad, and incinerate it to ash, lest you repeat my mistakes. But why waste such precious earth time, when I’ve already done so for us both?”

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

all rights reserved

Finally, within my own home, where I live among two ardent artists, prodigious thinkers, and strategic fighters, my son and my partner, I question everything, not to be wicked or rapacious, but because I know their value; because I love them enough to demand the best as I see it; and because I know them to be more than merely the best in our home, community, city, and state, but moreover, because I am damn sure of them to be the best in the world.

What disservices we force upon our brethren when we manage our love so loosely as to ignore accountability toward producing their personal best all the time. How much better would we all be, by now, with an army of truth-speakers in our ears, chanting, "You can and you must do better. You can and you must do better. You can and you must..."

Photograph by Derrick Watkins 

www.dwphotographyandcreative.com

all rights reserved

How gravely we stifle the black and brown youth of our country when we accept the black and brown adults’ mediocrity as the best we have, when it is not even the best they have. I'm guilty of the same, and in this iteration of my life, shall not rest easily until after I have given all that I have...

Like James Baldwin...

Like Zora Neal...

Like Billie Holiday and Dr. King...

Or like Malcolm X and The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Thurgood Marshall and Barbara Jordan, Slave Girl Judah and Mother Harriet Tubman, and Dr. Nathan Carter and Nina Simone. 

What disserve to ourselves do we impose when we are unwilling to hear the truth of how others "perceive" our behaviors or beliefs, as if listening will kill us. 

And so it is with great humility that I assure you that I do not know everything. And with equal humility and great pride that I proclaim that I do, indeed, know some things; and for those things I am eternally grateful for.